So, if you’re a stoner you know there are numerous amounts of problems that we run into on the daily. Both problems we have to face in general, and whilst were stoned. From no lighter, to dealing with cannabis haters. Here’s 10 stoner problems we can all relate to.
Almost every stoner has experienced the munchies, and lets face it – running out of food is never a fun ordeal, stoned, or not. But there’s nothing worse, than smoking a huge blunt, only to come to the realisation that there is absolutely no food. You’re way too stoned to go to the store, you debate it for 20 minutes, and then you remember that it’s closed, because it’s 3am on a Tuesday, so you just have sleep for dinner. Believe it or not, this is a common problem that a lot of stoners often run into.
No, I’m Not High
You come in from a hardcore smoking sesh, all you want is a quick ‘hey’, if possible – nothing at all. But no, the only time your family actually want to communicate with you, is when you’re stoned. I’m sure they do it on purpose. Now you have to sit there, socialise, and pretend like you know what everyone is talking about, whilst your eyes feel like bowling balls, and all you can think about is that piece of cake, you may have left in the fridge last night.
Where’s The Lighter?
It’s that time, again – you’re about to light up, oh wait, where’s the lighter? You look absolutely everywhere, and find all sorts of things that you’ve searched for on other occasions, but the lighter is no where to be seen. If you haven’t lost it, it’s run out of fluid. Either way, by the time you’ve torn your room apart for a £1 disposable lighter, you could of easily have run to the store, and bought another one, but we only realise that after.
Netflix and Chill
So, this isn’t necessarily a stoner problem. But it is a problem many of us face, especially when we’re high. Once again, we put on an episode of ‘Breaking Bad’, and before you know it – you’re 14 episodes in, and Netflix just had to remind you that you’ve done absolutely nothing with your day, other than watch TV, eat multiple packs of crisps, and of course – smoke weed, until your lungs are asking you if you even love them. But we always select ‘yes’ and continue anyway.. once we can find the remote.
What Was I About To Do?
So, we’ve all heard that cannabis can cause psychological issues, and we’ve probably all established that by now, but it’s not going to stop us stoners. Why? because we’re stoners. Besides, if you just smoke a joint – you’ll soon find that you’ve forgotten all of the negatives weed can cause. But, we’ve all been there, you’ve worked up the strength to go and get something from the next room, only to walk in, and instantly forget what you came for.
Every stoner has experienced this at least once, and if you have – then you know, it’s the worst. Especially when there’s absolutely nothing to drink. Your mouth is dryer than the Sahara Desert, to the point where it’s difficult to talk, but you continue to hit the blunt anyway, because you’re a real stoner, and stoner’s are not a quitters.
So, it’s often stoners have bad timing anyway, but dealers take it to a whole new level. If you’ve got a dealer who can actually be there in “5 minutes”, with weed that’s worth waiting for, then you my friend, have found yourself a keeper. It’s extremely rare you’ll find a dealer who can stick to his word, mainly because he’s too busy finishing off his joint.
We all know that one person who is completely against weed. They constantly bang on about the negative effects of cannabis, whilst persistently reminding us that it’s a ‘gateway drug’. Well, guess what Debra, we don’t care. We love cannabis, so quit whining, and let me smoke on my devils lettuce.
Too High, Or Not High Enough?
You know what I’m talking about. It’s that state when you’ve smoked a blunt, and you just aren’t satisfied with the intensity of your high. On the other hand, you know after one puff of the next, you’ll be on cloud 10. But for most stoners, you know it’s a big ‘no no’ to neglect a half smoked blunt in the ash tray, so of course, you’re left with no other choice than to finish it. Therefore, you either stay unsatisfied, or get to the point where you’re incapable of moving. You decide.
Pass The Blunt
It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for – the blunt is about to reach you in the circle, after what felt like decades, only for your peer, to begin telling the longest story you’ve ever heard. After 5 minutes, and they’ve only taken one puff on the joint, that (sane) voice in your head begins to mutter “We don’t care about what happened to your pet tortoise 10 years ago, just pass the blunt!” But you’re a nice person, so you just smile and agree.
So, that was 10 stoner problems we can all relate to. Let us know in the comments below if you agree, disagree, or have some to add. We know there are plenty more us poor stoners have to deal with.